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I always thought I had good parents.
They didn't have a lot of money, they didn't dote on me, tell me I was beautiful or perfect. They taught me how to try, they encouraged me to study and they taught me how to work. They made me want to be a good person.
They were good because they cared enough to teach us basic values at home.
They were busy people, my father was a very small farmer, barely making enough to pay the bills. We lived on 40 acres. I was told more than once that no one could survive on that.
But we did. My dad worked hard. He was a responsible man and I was very proud of him. He sold breeding stock and made guarantees that the animals he sold would produce.
My mom would work alongside him on the farm, driving tractors, helping feed animals. She raised chickens, and sold eggs, made pies and sold them to cafes in town. She had an enormous garden. They scraped together to put food on the table for four children.
They didn’t complain much. I occasionally knew they were worried, but they didn't blame other people. They never took anything from anyone they hadn't earned. They fulfilled their obligations
Because they worked so hard, I never wanted to disappoint them, on any level.
We all helped. From early ages we helped by walking beans, and doing chores, and walking beans.
We learned by doing, by helping, by making it a family project.
So the lessons I learned from them were not things I learned in school. But they were reinforced by many leaders in the community. People they respected, people I respected.
I always felt that even though we were just a poor farm family, we had something special because people respected my family. Not just my parents, but many of my aunts and uncles and grandparents too. I was told they were good people.
What made them good people?
They did what they said they would do. They showed up when they said they would show up. They spoke respectfully about leaders, even when they didn't agree with them.
Honesty, integrity, respectfulness and maintaining high morals were key to their way of life. If there was an older person, or a teacher they were addressed politely, as Miss Smith or Mr. Thompson. We were told that if we made a promise we needed to keep it, if we made an appointment, we kept it.
We were expected to do our best in all endeavors. This was important to them. That made it important to us.
It should be important to all of us.
This isn't something that is taught at school, it begins at home, from the time a child is born, the language we use, the way we lead our lives sends a message that is important to share.
From the bottom up or the top down, in every organization, in our schools, in every political organization, our words reflect the type of person we are deep down.
I never heard my parents cuss casually, maybe a strong word of frustration when the hogs or cattle got away from my dad. My dad said language was important, to use good words, and to me that said a lot, that he was a principled man.
On a day-to-day way of life, my dad always tried to show that he cared about others, his family, his friends, his business associates.
When doing business with our neighbors, we are often a reflection of the people we work with. So to show support for each other, to work together with kindness is important. The courtesy shown by employees, by owners, by customers, reflects just who we are.
When jobs are advertised, and applicants apply, we would think they would show up for the interview. Dressed like they care, showing respect to the employer, by being on time and prepared. In a world where workers are compensated well with no job skills, it’s attitude that makes the difference.
When anyone says they will do something, then it needs to be done, especially when it impacts other people. Following through on a commitment on any level is important, when others are expecting a job to be done.
I know today things have changed, most people don't have to work as hard as my parents did to survive. When did the ease of living make it acceptable to be unreasonable? Did we need to change the way we speak to each other, without respect or courtesy?
How can this be better?
I'm tired of hearing the labels, words that reflect a lack of respect for each other.
Living in this century makes me reflect on what is missing.
And how we have lost it.