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Adam was growing weary of naming animals when he heard a voice call out, "Adam." Since there was no one else around he correctly assumed it was the voice of God.
"Yes, Lord!" Adam said.
"Adam, you look lonely."
"Well, yeah, it's just me and the animals. By the way, I named that big animal over there a cow but I don't know what to call the dangly things under it."
"Don't worry about the dangly things, "God said. "I want to talk with you about a woman."
"What's a woman?"
"A woman will be your helpmate," God explained. "She will help you with all your chores and keep you company. Wouldn't you like someone you can talk with?"
"That would be nice," Adam agreed. "Not to be ungrateful, but the animals are pretty boring."
"This woman," God continued, "will be amazing. She will be smart, kind and caring, beautiful, soft, curvy, helpful, sweet and charming. She will meet all of your needs and desires and never cause you worry, frustration or confusion."
"Wow!" Adam exclaimed, "a woman sounds really great but what's she going to cost me."
"An arm and a leg," God said.
"Hmmmm..." said Adam, "what do you have for a rib?
God miraculously created a woman out of one of Adam's ribs and Adam called her Eve because the day was nearly over. The woman seemed to be everything God said she would be, even at the discounted price of a rib. But after the incident with the serpent and the apple, Adam sensed a change in Eve. She was still beautiful, soft and curvy but sometimes her behavior really confused him.
After they were escorted out of the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve set up housekeeping in a nice two-bedroom starter cave. On this particular evening, Eve scolded Adam for leaving his dirty leaves on the floor. Then she locked herself in their bedroom and began crying.
After several unsuccessful attempts at determining the source of her tears, Adam retreated to the backyard where he sat on a rock and studied the stars.
Though their relationship had changed, Adam was still on speaking terms with God.
"Lord?" Adam called out.
"Yes, Adam."
"Lord, I don't understand Eve. Why did you make her so frustrating?"
"You're the one who wanted who wanted a discount..."
"Okay, but what do I do now? She's in the bedroom crying."
"Go and talk to her. Women like to discuss their problems."
"I'd rather pull weeds," Adam said with resignation, "but I'll try."
Adam went back into the cave. He knocked on the bedroom door and asked Eve to come out so they could discuss things. After multiple pleas, Eve came out, her eyes still red from crying.
"Why are you so upset, dear?" Adam asked.
"You talk in your sleep," Eve said with a sniffle, "and last night I heard you say that I ate you out of house and home. You just won't forget the apple incident. I think you don't love me anymore. Is there someone else?"
"Who else is there?"
Eve thought about that for a minute and then began poking Adam in the chest.
"Now what are you doing?" Adam asked.
"I'm counting your ribs," Eve said. "I want to be sure."
Putting his arm around her, Adam tenderly said, "I think I know what you need."
"What's that?"
"You need some companionship; it has to be lonely for you when I'm pulling weeds out in the fields all day." Adam pulled Eve into a warm embrace. "What do you say we raise a little Cain?"
Eve thought for a moment and said, "Not tonight, dear. I have a headache."
And God said sadly, "If only they had listened to Me..."
(Arvid Huisman can be reached at huismaniowa@gmail.com. ©2026 by Huisman Communications.)