What scares you? Spiders? Snakes? Heights? Public speaking? Death? Congress?

I am fascinated with phobias which, my dictionary says, are “an intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people.” What makes the fear a phobia is the “excessive and unreasonable desire” to avoid the things which scare you so intensely.

That would include an intense and persistent desire to avoid spiders, snakes, heights, public speaking and death.

And Congress.

We all have a phobia or two. I have a fear of small, confined spaces. It’s called claustrophobia.

Nearly 35 years ago my doctor ordered an MRI. I described my claustrophobia so he gave me a prescription for one anti-anxiety pill. I could just as well have sucked on a lemon drop for all the good that little pill did for me.

A minute or so after the technicians poked me into the narrow little tube — giving me a skin burn on both elbows — I let out a yelp demanding to be let out of there. With soothing voices the technicians assured me everything would be okay.

Unfortunately, it took a couple of salty words (shouted at full volume) to convince them of my intense and immediate desire to be removed. They were rather condescending when they finally pulled me out — burning my elbows again — and reminded me that they couldn’t make a picture of my insides if I refused to stay in that little tube for at least 45 minutes.

On the next attempt, after whining to my doctor, I was allowed to swallow some nasty tasting anti-anxiety medicine and was hooked up to an IV of feel-good juice. No problem with the MRI’s tiny tube this time. I was in my happy place!

My claustrophobia came to light in childhood when playing baseball with my cousins. Cousin Kenny hit the ball into a drag alley under a corn crib on our grandfather’s farm. Without thinking, I ran for the ball but when I got a few feet into the narrow, shallow opening things closed in on me. Cousin Loren had to retrieve the baseball.

Phobias can often be treated with therapy. While I’m not inclined to pay a therapist to fix my claustrophobia, I may have to if cars and airplanes get any smaller.

Phobias are considered to be “excessive and unreasonable” fears, but to the individual suffering from the phobia, the fear is very real.

Consider then, the crippling effect some of the following phobias can have on the individuals who suffer from them:

Ablutophobia — Fear of washing or bathing. (I’ve met a few of these folks …)

Agoraphobia — Fear of open spaces or situations where escape may be difficult (Oh, give me a home …)

Belonephobia — Fear of needles or injections (Getting old cured this fear …)

Chiraptophobia — Fear of being touched. (I remember a date …)

Coprastasophobia — Fear of constipation. (I’m not touching this one …)

Cynophobia — Fear of dogs (When I had a newspaper carrier route …)

Dextrophobia — Fear of objects at the right side of the body. (Common among Democrats.)

Dishabiliophobia — Fear of undressing in front of someone. (Not common in Hollywood …)

Ergophobia — Fear of work. (Epidemic these days …)

Gamophobia — Fear of marriage. (A little fear can be a good thing …)

Glossophobia — Fear of public speaking (Some say their worst fear …)

Gynephobia or Gynophobia — Fear of women. (A little fear can be a good thing …)

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia — Fear of long words. (What’s the abbreviation?)

Homilophobia — Fear of sermons. (I’m afraid of sermons only when longer than 30 minutes …)

Hominophobia — Fear of men. (I remember a date …)

Levophobia — Fear of things to the left side of the body. (Common among Republicans …)

Neophobia — Fear of anything new. (Common throughout Iowa …)

Paraskavedekatriaphobia — Fear of Friday the 13th. (I fear having to spell it …)

Politicophobia — Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians. (And the problem is?)

Xenoglossophobia — Fear of foreign languages. (Das ist verrückt!)

And after all these years I just suffer from claustrophobia!

Arvid Huisman can be contacted at huismaniowa@gmail.com ©2025 by Huisman Communications.