Recently I ran into a childhood friend who is a lifelong (and successful) farmer.

“How’s life in the big city?” he asked, referring to my home in the Des Moines suburbs. I get this query occasionally from rural friends, some of whom cannot imagine living in the city or suburbs.

Over the past nearly eight decades I have had the privilege of living in communities ranging from some of Iowa’s smaller towns to Iowa’s largest community and several years on farms.

Folks who have never lived on a farm or in a tiny town may have difficulty understanding how someone can do that. And visa-versa.

My first memories of wanting to live in a larger community came around 10 or 11 years old. My family lived in a town of about 1,200 at the time and an uncle and aunt lived in a suburb of Des Moines. Their daughter, my cousin Cheryl, was just a few months older than I am and I envied all the amenities she had at her disposal.

She could shop at the new Merle Hay Mall, go to movies at several different theaters, go roller skating and swimming … things not available in our town.

In due time I migrated to our county seat of about 8,000 people, much larger than the tiny town of 200 where I spent my teen years.

Seven years later I successfully interviewed for an advertising sales job in Sioux City. The Sioux City metro area has a population of nearly 150,000; not large on a national scale, but a big city when you grew up in a tiny farm town.

Sioux City felt large for a few months but we quickly acclimated to the community and the amenities it afforded and soon enough it felt like home.

Our kids grew up in the Morningside neighborhood of Sioux City and became accustomed to the things a larger community provided.

All went well until I accepted a job — a career advancement — in a county seat town of about 7,500. Having grown up in much smaller towns I didn’t foresee problems.

The first time I took the family to look over the new town my assessment was fractured. Our 11-year-old daughter had all sorts of questions: where’s the mall, why does the movie theater have only one screen, where’s the Pizza Hut? Fortunately, there was a Pizza Hut in the town.

Even their mother and I struggled a bit with the nearest shopping mall being an hour away rather than the five-minute drive we had enjoyed.

We were empty nesters when we moved to Ankeny in 2000 when the suburb was less than half the size it is today and we thoroughly enjoyed living there.

My wife, Cindy, passed away in 2013. I remarried and moved to Julie’s small community of about 200 until she could wrap up her career and retire. I had gone to high school in this town and already knew some of my new neighbors.

The two years in Blairsburg were a good experience. Every Tuesday morning a few dozen residents gathered in the town hall for coffee and treats. I enjoyed the conversation … and the treats.

On election day I was amazed at how many voters and poll workers I recognized. When I learned the identity of the few I didn’t recognize I realized I had known some of them 50 years prior.

In 2016 Julie and I moved to a retirement community in the West Des Moines/Waukee area and we are now happy and content in the suburbs.

Do I miss rural and smalltown living? Sometimes.

I miss lying in the grass on a summer evening and being able to see the thousands of stars that are dimmed by ambient urban light. I miss Tuesday morning community coffees. I miss conversations with old friends while shopping for groceries.

This is offset by three ice cream stores and four supermarkets within 2½ miles, 5-and-10-minute drives to doctor appointments and much more. Many of our retirement community neighbors and church families are from small towns too. We have made friends with these folks as well as city-bred neighbors.

Meanwhile, all five of my siblings live in much smaller communities and are happy as clams. I’m happy as a clam too.

The old adage, “Different strokes for different folks,” is still valid.

Arvid Huisman can be contacted at huismaniowa@gmail.com. ©2025 by Huisman Communications.