As a twice-married man and a father I have been made fully aware of all my faults. One of those faults is my temper. Over the years I have learned to control that temper … until someone pushes all the right buttons.

Back in Sunday school days we had to memorize a Bible verse every week. One that I’ve never forgotten is Proverbs 15:1 — “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” That verse has been helpful over the years, because when I am angry soft words come with difficulty.

I thought of these things one day when I stopped to pick up some dry cleaning.

When I walked into the establishment a customer was going through his large volume of dry cleaning, checking each piece and talking to himself as he did so. His mumbling was punctuated by f-bombs and blasphemy.

When the owner of the establishment brought up the last several garments the customer unloaded with more f-bombs and vulgarities. He complained that a pair of white slacks had not been pressed to his satisfaction. He wanted a “hard press.”

The owner listened to the foul-mouthed whiner but I could tell he was about ready to “reach out and touch someone.” With perceptible effort he retained his composure and explained that if they had pressed the white slacks any more, the slacks would no longer be white. The excessive pressing would discolor the garment.

The soft words of the owner stopped the griping customer in his tracks. “Oh,” he said dismissively, “I wish you had told me that before.” I doubt he realized what a jerk he appeared to be to the rest of us in the store.

The incident generated some flashbacks. I ran a small daily newspaper for 12 years and, like many other businesses, that puts a target on your back. You can catch hell for anything you do. Some folks have no problem walking into your office and screaming (literally) about something they don’t like. Most of times, I remembered Proverbs 15:1; a few times I didn’t.

I recall one middle-aged farmer who was so angry over something he had read I worried that he was going to have a stroke right there in my office. Red-faced and still angry, he stomped out of my office and that was a good thing because my soft words were running out.

A retired school teacher surprised me with her nastiness one morning. She was furious because we wouldn’t send a photographer to a meeting and photograph her presenting a $25 book to the local library on behalf of her 100-plus member retired educators’ group. After listening to her tirade for a while with no resolution in sight, I told her that if I were a member of a group that large and the best we could do was come up with $25 for a book for the library I would be ashamed to have my photo taken. That answer wasn’t soft enough. Mount Vesuvius erupted all over again. Except for that one contumelious (a nicer word than what I was thinking at the time) remark I maintained control of my temper.

Then there was the couple that came to my office one morning to tell me that something they had read the day before slighted their family. They were deeply concerned but spoke in a mannerly tone with no blasphemy, no red faces, no profanity and no threats. They spoke with what Proverbs calls soft words.

We examined the facts together and mutually determined the situation was a misunderstanding. Upon learning all the facts they said they understood. They thanked me for my time and left.

In the months and years that followed, we became better acquainted. I was saddened when I learned recently that the husband of that couple had passed away. After all these years I still feel deep respect and admiration for them.

I have a loud voice, a big mouth and a sharp tongue — a bad combination. Thanks to a diligent Sunday school teacher many times I have remembered Proverbs 15:1 and many times a soft answer has kept me out of deeper trouble.

Will Rogers understood. “People who fly into a rage,” he once said, “always make a bad landing.”

Arvid Huisman can be contacted at huismaniowa@gmail.com. © 2025 by Huisman Communications.