A lifelong Midwesterner, I enjoy the simple and earthy language of rural America. We generally get right to the point and use unpretentious, expressive ways to get there.

Linguists ascribe titles to the various methods we employ in our communication: aphorisms, axioms, proverbs, epigrams, maxims, etc. I’m not much concerned with what they are called; I simply like the way they communicate.

Many of the humble and colorful phrases we hear in rural America came across the ocean with our immigrant ancestors.

Growing up in an East Frisian family, I heard a number of Low German aphorisms including, “Een mann’s doot ist anner mann’s brot.” Literally, “One man’s death is another man’s bread.” It is akin to “Every cloud has a silver lining.”

“Luttje pott hebtt groot ohren,” is the Low German way of saying, “Little pots have big ears” or, “Small children will repeat what they hear.”

As a teenager working for farmers, I heard many colorful phrases, some of which I can share in a family publication. One farmer said of a pompous neighbor, “If you could buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth, you’d make a fortune.”

Another farmer described a ne’er-do-well neighbor as “useless as (teats) on a bull.”

When I was growing up someone who was caught unprepared was said to have been “caught with his pants down.” Someone who took on more than he could accomplish was said to have “bitten off more than he can chew.” And best buddies were said to be “like two peas in a

pod.”

My first boss in the news business was a walking glossary of earthy phrases. When he explained that we never withheld a news story because of the person or persons involved he said, “If my grandmother was arrested for prostitution tonight, it would be on the news tomorrow!” That simply settled that!

This same boss would say of someone hard to please, “He’d complain if you hung him with a new rope.”

A former co-worker said of his run of bad luck, “If it were raining gravy, I’d be outside with a fork.”

As we were enjoying lunch one day a client detected my fatigue. He asked about the situation and I explained there weren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. He smiled and said, “Just remember: when you’re up to your butt in alligators, it’s hard to remember that your original purpose was to drain the swamp.”

A few years ago I made the mistake of using a rural expression when I told an obnoxious big city telemarketer that she was “barking up the wrong tree.” She took umbrage. “I’m not a dog,” she exclaimed, “and I don’t bark up trees.” I wasn’t so sure on either point.

During my years with The Salvation Army I worked with some folks who did not grow up in rural America. When my boss and I were discussing a problem employee he asked what I would do with the difficult worker. Being familiar with the old idiom, “Don’t get into a (urinating) match with a skunk,” I responded, “I don’t know but I sure as heck wouldn’t get into a (urinating) match with him.”

The phrase that I had heard many times was new to my city bred boss who looked surprised. I apologized for my directness but he said he understood it perfectly.

Southerners, in particular, have colorful ways of explaining things. A former boss was from a small town in southern Mississippi. Discussing a salesperson who was failing to perform up to expectation he said, “Son, that dog won’t hunt.”

I am fond of this way of communicating. There’s no need for a dictionary — what you hear is what you get and what you get is easy to understand.

I’ve been exposed to a variety of lifestyles over the years and I can negotiate them as needed, but I still prefer rural simplicity. And I prefer speaking (and writing) honestly and simply.

Winston Churchill put it this way: “A vocabulary of truth and simplicity will be of service throughout your life.”

I’d say Ol’ Winston hit the nail on the head.