Another of those old-fashioned niceties that it wouldn’t hurt us to bring back, I read, is the art of gentle swears. Sometimes I just shudder when I hear the words that people use too often as expressions of annoyance, surprise, anger, dismay, emphasis or even pleasure. And there are other times when it seems like these not-so-gentle swears come in for no specific reason. It’s just habit.

And so I’m afraid we don’t even hear the way we talk any longer because it surrounds us. It is accepted all too often and in too many settings and in too many places.

In the article I read about bringing back old-fashioned niceties, one suggestion was the art of the gentle swears. Nothing as harsh here as we now hear oh too often: Instead, how about “criminy!” or “dagnabbit!” Maybe “oh, for heaven’s sake” or “heavens to Betsy!” would be a refreshing change from what seems to be the norm now.

I remember that the mother of one of my junior high friends was fond of saying “Well, bless it!” when she was frustrated. My friend and I would snicker about it when we thought she wasn’t listening because we thought she really meant to mutter something much stronger. Looking at it now, I realize that the mom was rather classy and thinking about what we might hear that she didn’t want us to imitate.

I’m not sure that’s the case very often in families any longer.

I think that a forceful “holy mackerel!” or “heavens to betsy!” would likely get the message across at least as well as the harsh expletives that have become accepted in our culture, although it might not have the same impact. How long since you’ve heard someone say “Jeepers!” as an exclamation or maybe “rats!” or “tarnation!” or even “phooey!”? The word “sugar!” could easily be replaced for a well-used expletive, as could “tarnation!” or “what in the sam hill?”

The words one says are out there once they’ve been spoken, and it’s awfully hard to take them back. So why not make those words something that sound classy instead of average and cheap? If you wouldn’t say it to your grandma, the old standard goes, then probably you shouldn’t be saying it at all.

Besides, it seems to me that if we had a more gentle way of speaking in our lives today, then maybe it would help us we to treat each other in a more gentle way.