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Junk food love affair

October 1, 2012 - Carrie Olson
Pillsbury Simply chocolate chip cookie dough.

My neighborhood grocery store has it in stock reasonably priced. So I get it often, about twice to three times a week. Oh yes, it would be cheaper to buy the ingredients and make these wonderful staple cookies, but that doesn’t make much sense to me. The unwritten rule is that homemade dough is for baking. You buy the ready-to-make stuff to eat as a snack on your way home. I buy the 12-count package and only half is left by the time I’m unlocking my apartment door. It’s a beautiful thing. I haven’t had luck with other pre-made cookie dough, as they have this plasticky, disgusting flavor. These taste more like the real deal, and I appreciate that. It’s gotten bad though, as I have started to replace regular meals with cookie dough tastings.

Yesterday, the cashier finally asked me how the dough was, as I seemed to get it a lot. I panicked. I thought my cookie obsession was a secret that only I knew about. Even if she didn’t know me, I like to come off as someone who has selective taste — like many of the New Yorkers around me.

I am in the land of foodies. People will shell out big bucks for something unusual that is plated with an artistic flair. A unique and expensive endeavor, for sure. Maybe you’ll like it or perhaps not. But in any case, the small portions allow for no leftovers to be stored in the fridge for lunch and a pretty empty wallet besides.

After such an experience, I will usually walk to the nearest Taco Bell and load up on cheap hard-shell delights. A complete 180, but so satisfying. Or I’ll go into McDonald’s (please, gasp) and pick out a fish sandwich or whatever looks great on the dollar menu. Anyone who wants to give me tons of grief on my fast-food love affair isn’t worth talking to, in my opinion.

And if a restaurant is nowhere in sight, I will venture to the nearest convenience store to stock up on my staples. Hard-core junk food. The bright colors and cheap prices draw me in. I can’t help but smile as I load up on beef burritos made out of meat paste. Delish. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese always hits the spot, as does chicken strips topped with ketchup and ranch dressing. White tortilla chips with medium salsa, sour cream and cheese is always a delight. Taquitos. Jalapeno poppers. A box of oatmeal Little Debbies. Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream. Off-brand potato chips with a giant vat of French onion dip. While I spent $30 on some chef’s fancy entrée, for a third of that, I can go into a decadent food coma. And while that $15 glass of Merlot was somewhat tasty, my large $5.99 bottle of Gallo Family wine also does the trick.

So while people fill up on fancy cuisine, I will try it, but likely will continue my secret junk food lifestyle. You may turn your nose up at it, but my stomach is quite content.


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A McDonald's Fish Filet is the way to this girl's heart.


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