In a few short weeks, I will be traveling in my little car cross country to my new home in New York City.
This daunting realization didn't hit me until I was sitting on a bench in Central Park this past weekend.
I'm really doing this, I thought. I'm moving here.
I sat there, at dusk, watching dancing couples slowly move near a fountain to the music of Ella Fitzgerald.
It will be quite a change from small town Iowa to this.
And while the idea is still scary and nerve-wracking - it is also exhilarating.
As far as I can remember, I have always wanted to spend a period of time in my life in this cultural mecca. In high school, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I eventually grew up, just that I wanted to live in the Big Apple - the city that never sleeps.
Why? I don't know ... there are a lot of reasons. I can close my eyes and the night sky of NYC invades my every thought. The swirling colors, layered smells and movement of this city fascinate me.
In past years, I have said I would someday do it. I just never had the courage or a real reason to actually go through with the plan.
I'm excited to be in the same city again as many of my friends, and yet, I'm already homesick for my family in Iowa. The people I have grown up with, the people I spend much of my time with and who really know me.
I can't go on this journey without realizing that while it may be thrilling - there will be pitfalls, heartache and sadness on my path. There always is in life. It won't be perfect, no matter how much I've envisioned my future there. I've learned that the stereotypical East Coast cold behavior is somewhat accurate. That a land of opportunities can also be cut throat and mean. And there is a likelihood that many of my far-fetched hopes and dreams won't come true.
As much as I can dwell on these negatives, I can't. If I don't try, I'll never know. I'd rather live my life with as few regrets as possible.
So I'm looking forward to spending my last few weeks living in Webster City with the people I love. Curling up with a book at Kendall Young Library. Running the Boone River Trail. Drinking wine and laughing over stories with family.
And that it why I know I'll be okay in the big city. Because of this town and the people in it. Big changes are coming ahead, fast, but I won't let that change me.