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The politician and your ex

Musings

January 3, 2012
Carrie Olson , The Daily Freeman Journal

The sound of silence. Sweet, sweet silence.

Have you noticed anything different today? If the answer is no, think a bit harder. Has your phone been ringing off the hook?

Unless the bill collectors are after you, it's likely that it's not ringing every 15 minutes as it had been pre-caucus season.

Article Photos

It's beautiful, right? To be left alone, not to have the constant chirp of robo calls and political surveys echoing in your ear. To not come home to an answering machine chuck full of politicians greeting you with their monotone voices.

No matter if your are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever your party affiliation - you have to admit that the months of campaigning can be downright frustrating. It starts out slowly, with a few people dipping their toes in the water, just to see what it may be like. Will it be icy cold or lukewarm, they wonder? Will they be popular and get endorsements?

"I'm scared!" "No one likes me," or "That's okay, I'll just go," are some thoughts that potential candidates have - and they pack up and move along the road. But the ones with the most stamina and ambition (and cold hard cash) stay. Tenacious, these few good men and women work the crowds. With their massive blown-out hair and gleaming white teeth, the candidates wave at the crowds, eat fried chicken at barbecues and pick up screaming babies, remarking "Oh, how adorable."

But that fakeness starts to show through, as they bare their teeth in political ads, attacking the current president, the other candidates and anything else considered vile to their party. "I hate circus clowns," "Trees are revolting," "If I were president, I would outlaw scales." Things like that.

It gets old, we get tired and we just want to move on. So badly.

If you think about it, political candidates are not far off from another nightmarish creature: The Ex.

The relationship starts, it blossoms and love seems to spring eternal. It's blissful and they make promises, you make them back and everything seems okay. But after awhile, you realize it's not going to work out. So you let them down, ever so gently. But they don't understand.

They keep calling you, coming to your town to see you, pleading and asking for you to give them a chance. "Hey, I'm just calling to see how you are," "I want the same things you do," and "Let's change this world together."

You're ready to move on, to another person - another life. But the season of the ex doesn't seem to end. So they continue to coax you, get in your face, but it gets angrier. They begin to attack other people who you have gone out with before, or people you may be considering for a relationship. Airing the dirty laundry of those that had supposedly ruined their chances.

"I'm the better person here," "I can offer you what they don't have," and "They are a liar" are just a few of the snide comments thrown from their mouth.

Eventually they take the hint and leave. Just as the political season does.

But guys, don't let that fool you. That ex-boyfriend, girlfriend or candidate will be back. For the next round. Unfortunately, sooner than you think

So the next time you get excited for a campaign or a relationship - remember this: Before it's over, it gets worse. You may want it to be done, but they might not understand or take the hint.

Take care and relax for now. But if you haven't changed your phone number, house number or zip code, realize that they haven't forgotten. And they will call back.

 
 

 

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